Thursday, May 7, 2009

Does no mean no?

Hello people! I am once again sorry for the abandonment. Blame it on the exams...have been studying my butt off. Trust me, if money grew on trees, I would dedicate my entire time to sharing my musings with you all. But I thought I'd take a break from the studying to chill with you guys....

Q came to spend a weekend with me at school...He booked a hotel nearby where he would stay. It was interesting. I was worried it was a bit early to do this but I figured it would probably be a good idea to uncover whatever skeletons he has before I get involved. It was very chilled...hes very affectionate, mature etc so when he asked me to come see him at his home I thought what the hell...maybe I'll know more about him when I see him in his element. So I went. Beforehand, I had stressed that he would have to sleep on the couch because I wasn't ready to share a bed with him just yet. 

Upon arriving at his apartment, I met his three flatmates who were friendly. so we watched a few movies...watched funny vids on youtube and then we both started pretending to study. fifty minutes into the pretence, we started talking about religion and I was really surprised when he admitted that he felt religion was "bullshit". His argument is that there is alot of politics (and corruption) amongst religious leaders. Now I'm not even gona lie and try to make out like I'm some kind of mother teresa or something but I agreed that there may be too much "politics" and shit in the religious world but, ultimately, I believe in the faith and the teachings behind christianity. etc...It escalated into a heated debate as he started showing me videos on youtube showing strong links between biblical stories/teachings and older pagan traditions. 

I can't remember how it started now but I think th
e intensity of the argument made us a bit hot and bothered and soon enough we ended up seriously making out on his bed. As we were kissing, I felt his hands purposefully moving up my dress and promptly moved his hands away. When he realised he wasn't getting any nookie that way...He started telling me that I was a good kisser and that I have nice soft i am etc...I won't lie I was v turned on but I told him I wasn't "ready". Anyways after some unsuccessful gropes and ish he stopped and said "babes don't worry, I'm your man now...I'm not goin to hurt you. I won't think any less of you. I know you're a good girl already."

I was almost persuaded. But I stuck to my ground and gave him some speech about how I didn't wanna rush and we stuck to just making out. However, I did compromise and did not make him sleep on the couch that 

Now I'm treading on very sensitive ground right now but on my way back to school, I started to think...why exactly did I not sleep with him? I mean at first I came up with generic answers such as: "I don't sleep around like that" "I have morals" "I need to wait to make sure he's for real" "You can't just give it up just like that" "He won't respect me" "Im so much better than that" etc

But when I thought really hard and decided to be real about why I didn' all boiled down to one thing: FEAR...fear of what my friends would think...fear of what he would think...fear that if I did give him my body, he may leave me and I'd end up feeling stupid and used. That was it: fear. Don't get me wrong, I do respect morals and all but I just didn't do it because I care too much about not being "that girl" who sleeps with a guy after only a month. I'm not loose or anything but I am 99% sure he is a good guy who genuinely
 wants to be in a long-term relationship with me so its worrying that my wanting to maintain a good image was the only reason for not having sex with Q. I'll admit, the next morning, I was glad I didn't because it would have been rather early. I like him and dont wanna spoil things by rushing but in the heat of the moment it was just fear that stopped me...

I wanted to know if anyone feels the same or has similar thoughts on this. Have fun with it guys. I am open to all views and I am v sure I will get comments on the value of abstinence...or maybe not (who knows) but we'll see. It's just my honest opinion. Have fun with it guys. I love and miss you BT!
                             Truffle hugs and cherry kisses
                                                   Gourmet truffle.x

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Effin Nerve!

First of all I am sooo sorry for the neglect...School is not easy at all...but soooo much has happened...well not that much but enough to blog about.

First things first I think I can safely say that I am almost completely over the ex! Yayyy!!! How do I know??? There are these two Alicia keys songs that just bring on the waterworks all the time cos I can more than relate... Ive cried everytime I've heard it even before we broke up because the lyrics hit too close to home. Listen to "The thing about love" and "where do we go from here"....Geez i am such a loser when i listen to them...I always bawl my eyes out...Anyways, I listened to each song a zillion times last week and I didn't even feel a lump in my throat. *victory dance*...I actually cannot believe it!!! Thought it would take ages but it didn't however I must confess that it must have something to do with my being distracted by this very appealing guy...lets call him Q. We've been on a couple of dates and the brother is fine and mature and very down to earth...and I think I'm falling for him...BT do u think its a bit too early? what do you guys think?? I mean I know relationship gurus talk about taking time after a break up to "discover yourself" and all that ish but I already have a good idea of who I am and I already know what went wrong (on both sides) in my last relationship...+ Q is very different and refreshing. As cliched as it sounds, I feel like I've known him for ages. We talked about everything and I didn't have to censor my thoughts on whatever we discussed and even though I'm comfortable with him, there's still that sexual tension between

anyhoos...besyds Q, thers two other guys who are interested in me...One is really funny but i don't like him like that + he has a reputation for doing money runs...that can be a good thing for some girls but I don't like wahala o! The other one, I met at a party...he looked really good and everything and when he walked over to me to introduce himself, I was slightly intrigued....except when he leaned in to talk to me...the stench coming from his lips nearly killed a sista! I was so disappointed and turned OFF! how could something that looked so good..smell so BAD...ugh! anyways...I still gave him my number...(I was tipsy) maybe he was having a bad day...But his attitude reeks just as much...Can you imagine the guy came to visit me in school and had the nerve to tell me "guys like me don't come around often so stop fronting"...Damn skippy, guys with breaths like you  definitely do not come around often...okay enough for now Q is it...

anyways this wasn't the main reason for this post although I managed to write an essay before getting to my point...I have to tell you what happened last week...So there was this party in london and a few of us went. At the party, my girl frend introduces me to this guy. and he seemed nice enough and was hitting on my friend. After the party, he came home with us... That's three girls and him... So we were chilling in the living room...and gisting...and we drank a little more. I made some small talk with him but that was about it. So at about 5am I went into my friend's bedroom and passed out on the bed because I was really tired....I fell into some deep ass sleep...I don't know how long i'd been sleeping for but I woke up to find out I wasn't sleeping alone. Whatever was in the bed with me had its body pressed against mine. I froze and was a bit confused and a little scared... I was even more horrified when I realised that the person next to me had managed to put his filthy hands into my bra and was touching me....The fucking nerve! I rolled off the bed and pushed him with all my might off the bed and immediately left the room....

I didn't tell any of my friends about it...They noticed I was acting weird but I didn't feel like talking. I'm a bit embarassed and confused. I'm so glad I didn't have too much to drink. I just shudder at the thought of what else the filthy bastard would have done if I hadn't woken up that instant. Or worse, what if he'd done more when I was asleep. I really don't want to know...anyways as if that wasn't enough...the asshole had the nerve to add me on facebook. I'm actually shocked. What should I do?? I have a good mind to rain all sorts of insults on him...but im not sure. I haven't done anything. What to do?? Can you imagine?!! 

Bt its okay...Im alright...don't worry...I didn't suffer any pschological damage. Im just mad and cannot believe he does not have shame. hissss....What do you guys think?? I love and miss you BT!

                                                                       Truffle hugs and cherry kisses
                                                                       Gourmet truffle

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

?Diet? ~~ What a LOLLIPOP!!~~

On behalf of the Truffles, I, BT apologise for our absence. We are back and ready to blogilize away :D

Does the title seem weird?...Well It's a serious kini o!

Please What is with this dieting movement? What's with the obsession with weight? This is not a Tyra Banks P! It's a young ladies P! It's OK to want to be fit and get flat abs to flaunt this summer {and make the rest of us jealous :-( }, but it is not cool to STARVE.

//To suffer or die from extreme or prolonged lack of food //

How can you deprive yourself of a basic need? To make it worse, some girls be throwing up and becoming bulimic. That's nasty yo! To taste puke after every meal. So where's the nice taste of that chicken gone? I just hope you're not doing it to make "macho" happy. Cuz homegirl if he needs you to die to make him happy, he doesn't want the real YOU! We come in all shapes and sizes and do you know what happens when you try to change that?? You start to look akward. Too many of my friends are going around looking "lollipops". The big rainbow-coloured kind. Big heads and akwardly skinny bodies. NOT COOL! If getting skinnier is good for you health, then go for it! But if you're starving to death ecause it makes you feel better. The OMOGE let's seek some help!

Naija babes, what happened to enjoying our full breasts and round bottoms. Ah ah! Give "macho" something to hold on to! We need to end this nonsensity and end it NOW!
Truthfully, if you are not comfy with your size, exercise and eat healthy. And is this doesn't work, attend a workshop and get things sorted out. On the reals!

I talk to my friends who live in this bubble and attempt to knock some sense into them... If anyone around you is suffering from the "lollipop-syndrome", talk to her o! You don't know what the deeprer prolem is, help her sort things out! Can i get a witness??

~Truffle Hugs and Cherry Kisses~

Blanche Truffle

Thursday, March 26, 2009

RANT ALERT: Catty by nature???

Okay…I need to rant. I am sick and tired of us girls being bitches….all the constant envy, jealousy, backstabbing, and silent hatred makes me, quite frankly, fucking tired. (Sorry about the swearing, but it is very necessary right about now). I was speaking to a friend of mine who is constantly commenting on her “best friend’s” photos on facebook. Her comments are always something like “OMG you look so amazing” “You’re so beautiful” “ooo…sexy I love” and all that jazz… She is always gushing to anyone who will listen about how close they are and how she loves her and tells her everything…So you can imagine my surprise when a few days ago, whilst I was speaking with this friend on the phone, she revealed that her friend was an “ashawo” (slut…for our non-nigerian readers) and proceeded to disclose the number and names of people her “best friend” had slept with. I was very disappointed as she had managed to maintain this façade that their friendship was all that and a bag of chips…She then admitted that she did not want her “best friend” to accompany her to a party some mutual friends are throwing as she fears that she will gain more attention from guys!!! like wtf?!?! BT, you know how I do, I cut her off immediately and told her she shouldn’t be ridiculous and swiftly changed the subject.

Now Im not trying to glorify myself as the noble one. I definitely do like my gist but I do not condone gossiping about friends ESPECIALLY when one pretends to love everything about the person. This incident really got me thinking and I began to wonder how many of my female friends gossip about me and then don a fake smile and feign warmth when they see me. I was sad. Then I began to ruminate and over analyze everything as
usual. I began to think: maybe a certain female friend did not have my best interests at heart when she convinced me to wear a dress which I could have sworn was less flattering than another; Or maybe that time another friend jokingly said that I was “boring and had no life”, when her love interest casually asked where I hang out, was a desperate attempt to make me seem less desirable in comparison to her. And maybe the other friend who never comments or compliments me on my new look even when others do or when I know I’m looking extra fly is actually jealous….I began to feel uncomfortable…then I became pissed…and right now, I just think actions such as these are plain pathetic. I’m starting to wish the dynamics in female relationships were similar to the camaraderie shared amongst boys.

I understand that for us the expectations seem unattainable and that the numerous air-brushed, size-zero, runway-models can make us insecure and mean towards people we perceive as competition. But why on earth do girls find it hard to understand that our friendships are priceless and should be nurtured and cherished?.... that its normal to be envious once in a while but that it’s important that such emotions are not cultivated and do not consume us. At the end of the day…these looks will fade and all we will be left with are our families and these friends…so why gamble with these for relatively insignificant moments of satisfaction? Its no secret that all this bitchiness boils down to insecurity as the need to find flaws or break down each other obviously reflects one’s unhappiness with oneself…

I understand we can’t be happy all the time and that we may irritate each other once in a while but why not sort it out and move on like the guys do? Why do we dwell on silly things and let them affect us…Is it in our nature to be bitchy? I don't think so...blaming it on the hormones or that time of the month just doesn't cut it because I have also noticed that we are considerably nicer to men...we treat guys differently. Think of how lenient you are with male friends who betray or disappoint you…or even better…how many times have you easilyn resolved problems with a boyfriend who is obviously an asshole. AND after resolving those problems...yes you may share your experiences with friends but you do not bitch...and say shit like you would if it were a girl...So I know deep down inside we have those elements of compassion. It is our confusion regarding who deserves and/or receives this compassion that is the issue…I really do not like to preach but we need to realise that girlfriends are not the enemy…in fact no one is. Once we let go of that pettiness, and catiness, and bitchiness…we will shine and we will NOT need to be ruthless to get attention…cos our confidence and compassion (for lack of a better word) will speak for themselves.

Ladies, I think its important we celebrate our friendships…all this hostility, and trash-talking and pettiness just has to stop! Maybe…(I cant believe im saying this) we need to learn a few from the men and always have each other’s backs…no matter what. `In addition, I want to use this opportunity to tell you, BT, how much I love you. You are one of the very few girls that I sincerely trust and I am always confident that there is no hidden agenda behind your compliments, advice, and actions and I am grateful to have you in my life and to know that we cherish what we have and work hard to make this bond grow. Ok…I sound really cheesy right about now. But it was very much needed. I was v depressed about this but I find consolation in the fact that our relationship shows me that it is possible to love a girlfriend on the real. I think its important that we acknowledge what’s really important in life. I love you BT.

Truffle hugs and cherry kisses
Gourmet Truffle.x

Monday, March 23, 2009

?Am I an IT Girl?

In a world that trends are becoming necessary to belong, Where do I fit?

Peer pressure is not a joke oh. I once thought, a Naija babe like me, peer pressure has got nothing on me. Kini big deal? WRONG! I am a piercing-less and tattoo-less twenty year-old lady, and I’m feeling it. Not even a second ear-hole on my lobe is pierced and it’s because I don’t want a piercing. I’m just not excited about it.

It might not seem like a big deal, but that’s a conversation –starter right there. A guy’ll be like “Oh nice “tat” (what’s with that word?) I don’t even know the lingua : BARBELLS?? Is that what the curved earrings are called? I don’t even know oh! I need a little Pierciducation… Somebody please Holla @ a chica.

Am I missing out on my youthfulness? I hope not oh! I need to be expressing all these things now before I’m dropping my kids off at school and hollering at some tattooed dude to draw butterfly on my left breast… You feel me? I need to live on the wild side of things, not pushing into the "Bull Ring" thing in your nose, nah mate! That’s not for me! I’m finna have a little belly ring, that I'll show off in my bikini. But what’s with this rumour about the hole expanding when you’re pregnant. That’s not cool at all o, I don’t want to be able to drive a Honda Civic through my belly-button; that’s a nasty thought! I know...forgive me. So what’s the 411? How bad is it? GT tell me something.

~Truffle Hugs and Cherry Kisses~

Blanche Truffle

RE: Crisis!

This is sooo what I love...Sorry this is late. Long story...will get to it later.. So as we were saying about outfits....

First things first, you have to look super-sexy.... It's all about getting drunk and grinding boys.. OOPS...bad advice. *giggle* So the red dominatrix (picturing this)....I'm feeling matching that up with high gladiator heels!.... It'll kill the dangerous girl element!...Totally...

I'm feeling these to the right though... I fell like they're different. It's in Ninewest

Or even these...

What do you think? They're both affordable hun and will make a statement.

As for the "Little Black Dress" I have the perfect idea... How about a very thin belt around the waist...Not the usual big bulky belts you get?

It'll give a super sexy look. Plus maybe it shouldn't be brown. A nice bright colour will do!

And for the necklace, I'm thinking heavy. Like really heavy!

You like?

As for the hair... I'm thinking the usual big brown or black curls... Just top it up with smoky eyes...Add a little colour to the smoky eyes though. I hope I helped.

I can't boast of being a fashionista but I think I tried.

LOL...Hope It works out well my luv!

~Truffle Hugs and Cherry Kisses~

Blanche Truffle

Friday, March 20, 2009


Babes...thanks...I don't know what I'd do without you. I know I will get over it eventually. I can feel it already: Haven't cried about him in days AND the urge to call him has significantly weakened. So yes...time does heal...+ i'm starting to feel free...

Anyways...forget the stupid ex. Main order of business: There is a party on friday night and I have NOTHING to wear!....BT you know I always know what outfit i'll be rocking weeks before an event. But right now, I have no idea...Okay, slight exaggeration I have two options: red retro looking dress...It has these amazing almost pockets and these cool contrasting black buttons running from underneath my bust to just below my navel...It shows a little cleavage and is short and tight...Just how i like it. But then there's this other black dress I have...Its simple: strapless, high-waisted with a poofy bottom. Looks divine when I wear it and is very sophisticated.

BT, I don't know whether I should go for the classy, sophisticated look...or the retro-cool, flirty look. Please help!!! I even need advice on what heels to wear? I was thinking of these black gladiator heels to go with the red dress and these bright fuschia-pink...patent leather peep-toes with the black. What do you think??? And accessories...I'm thinking about standing out on the night. I mean...I'm back on the market so I definitely have to strut my if it's the black one...the accessories have to be maddd. I wanna do something CRAZY but sexy with my hair...I'll email you pics of me wearing both dresses...and you decide.
Am off to bed hun....sleep tight.x

Truffle hugs and cherry kisses

Gourmet Truffle
DIARY OF A SEMI-SCHMALTZ DUO. Design by Exotic Mommie. Illustraion By DaPino