Okay…I need to rant. I am sick and tired of us girls being bitches….all the constant envy, jealousy, backstabbing, and silent hatred makes me, quite frankly, fucking tired. (Sorry about the swearing, but it is very necessary right about now). I was speaking to a friend of mine who is constantly commenting on her “best friend’s” photos on facebook. Her comments are always something like “OMG you look so amazing” “You’re so beautiful” “ooo…sexy I love” and all that jazz… She is always gushing to anyone who will listen about how close they are and how she loves her and tells her everything…So you can imagine my surprise when a few days ago, whilst I was speaking with this friend on the phone, she revealed that her friend was an “ashawo” (slut…for our non-nigerian readers) and proceeded to disclose the number and names of people her “best friend” had slept with. I was very disappointed as she had managed to maintain this façade that their friendship was all that and a bag of chips…She then admitted that she did not want her “best friend” to accompany her to a party some mutual friends are throwing as she fears that she will gain more attention from guys!!! like wtf?!?! BT, you know how I do, I cut her off immediately and told her she shouldn’t be ridiculous and swiftly changed the subject.Now Im not trying to glorify myself as the noble one. I definitely do like my gist but I do not condone gossiping about friends ESPECIALLY when one pretends to love everything about the person. This incident really got me thinking and I began to wonder how many of my female friends gossip about me and then don a fake smile and feign warmth when they see me. I was sad. Then I began to ruminate and over analyze everything as
usual. I began to think: maybe a certain female friend did not have my best interests at heart when she convinced me to wear a dress which I could have sworn was less flattering than another; Or maybe that time another friend jokingly said that I was “boring and had no life”, when her love interest casually asked where I hang out, was a desperate attempt to make me seem less desirable in comparison to her. And maybe the other friend who never comments or compliments me on my new look even when others do or when I know I’m looking extra fly is actually jealous….I began to feel uncomfortable…then I became pissed…and right now, I just think actions such as these are plain pathetic. I’m starting to wish the dynamics in female relationships were similar to the camaraderie shared amongst boys.I understand that for us the expectations seem unattainable and that the numerous air-brushed, size-zero, runway-models can make us insecure and mean towards people we perceive as competition. But why on earth do girls find it hard to understand that our friendships are priceless and should be nurtured and cherished?.... that its normal to be envious once in a while but that it’s important that such emotions are not cultivated and do not consume us. At the end of the day…these looks will fade and all we will be left with are our families and these friends…so why gamble with these for relatively insignificant moments of satisfaction? Its no secret that all this bitchiness boils down to insecurity as the need to find flaws or break down each other obviously reflects one’s unhappiness with oneself…
I understand we can’t be happy all the time and that we may irritate each other once in a while but why not sort it out and move on like the guys do? Why do we dwell on silly things and let them affect us…Is it in our nature to be bitchy? I don't think so...blaming it on the hormones or that time of the month just doesn't cut it because I have also noticed that we are considerably nicer to men...we treat guys differently. Think of how lenient you are with male friends who betray or disappoint you…or even better…how many times have you easilyn resolved problems with a boyfriend who is obviously an asshole. AND after resolving those problems...yes you may share your experiences with friends but you do not bitch...and say shit like you would if it were a girl...So I know deep down inside we have those elements of compassion. It is our confusion regarding who deserves and/or receives this compassion that is the issue…I really do not like to preach but we need to realise that girlfriends are not the enemy…in fact no one is. Once we let go of that pettiness, and catiness, and bitchiness…we will shine and we will NOT need to be ruthless to get attention…cos our confidence and compassion (for lack of a better word) will speak for themselves.
Ladies, I think its important we celebrate our friendships…all this hostility, and trash-talking and pettiness just has to stop! Maybe…(I cant believe im saying this) we need to learn a few from the men and always have each other’s backs…no matter what. `In addition, I want to use this opportunity to tell you, BT, how much I love you. You are one of the very few girls that I sincerely trust and I am always confident that there is no hidden agenda behind your compliments, advice, and actions and I am grateful to have you in my life and to know that we cherish what we have and work hard to make this bond grow. Ok…I sound really cheesy right about now. But it was very much needed. I was v depressed about this but I find consolation in the fact that our relationship shows me that it is possible to love a girlfriend on the real. I think its important that we acknowledge what’s really important in life. I love you BT.
Truffle hugs and cherry kisses
Gourmet Truffle.x
